Love you Forever...

Your Favorite Book.....
I love children's picture books. Probably because they fit my attention span. Also, they are brilliant. I seem to get choked up when I read this book to my boys. Like, everytime. I remember Coop wouldn't fall asleep unless I rocked him....cherished every minute of it and I honestly think it makes my milk come in when I think about it. :) JK... I know, gross.

I can do better!

Day 22 ~Something you wish you were better at.......
Hmmm, let me get my list out. It's a funny question because you have to be able to actually do something before you can be better at it....right? First thing that comes to mind.....I wish I could sing. People remind me all the time that I don't know how! Kristen and I sing "real nice" when Ami is around. We seem to have this harmony that just works;) Ha! Ami can sing, play the piano, compose/read music...blah blah blah, and she hates it when we sing.
Second, I wish I were better at being patient. How can I learn the art of patience quickly? Im way more patient when it comes to certain things. For example, I can be super patient when it comes to my kids and them growing up. But, waiting on someone else to do something, like go through a checkout line with their coupon BINDER.......not so much. Or, trying to get through the grocery store isle with a lady and her 4 kids, each with their own cart because she's attempting to give her kids "choices" and take ownership in their families decisions...Lame! Serious, this conversation happened....Mom sais, "Can we get these crackers?" Kids simultaneously respond in whiney voices, "No, I want cookies!" "Why can't we get cheetos?" "I want this one!" Mom trying to gain approval, "Please, sweatie? Mommy wants you guys to have this kind, is that ok?" WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE? Can you tell my annoyance is still fresh:) Meanwhile this is my conversation with Cooper... "Coop, do you want Wheat Thins or Trisciuts?" (still choices btw) Coop, "I want pringles." Me, "OK, neither then"... as I put both back and tell him that his cheese/crackers snack for the ball games just became a cheese snack. He keeps walking and mumbles, "dang it."

Forget About It!

Something you wish you could forget........
Is there really anything that we should forget? When you think about it, I mean, REALLY think about it....we need all that's in our cache. Otherwise, we wouldn't learn to overcome life's barriers. Shit's gonna happen, if you don't know how to accept those thoughts, even welcome them, you won't survive pleasantly. Im thinking of my worst thought/memory and I hope I never forget how that feels so I can do the things necessary to win next time........I like winning. Lingering, however, will slow the game down. So, there's a difference:)

I lie......this is something I'd actually like to forget! It's just wrong, everything about it.

Greece

Where do you want to travel?.............
Greece is such a beautiful place with unique characteristics and interesting history. I love everything about it and would love to go there some day.

Insecure...much?

19......What is your biggest insecurity?
I wouldn't consider myself to be insecure about much. Whenever we play the "most embarrassing moment" game, I never win because, to my recollection, most things that involve me are awkward or embarrassing........generally speaking. So, it's hard to pick one that stands out:) I guess I DO get insecure about being so uninhibited. I never trust that the receiver can handle or comprehend me right off the bat. I end up having to backtrack, explain, or justify myself until they can come to terms with how it is (or how I am). It's kind of ironic because if I wasn't so uninhibited, I would probably be insecure about many things. I prefer to just lay it all out there, it is what it is, take it or leave it....I can't control or be bothered by how others will react. I will admit, sometimes I am truly bothered....working on it. I think that's why I love kids so much. They are so uninhibited and don't make excuses for it. Why do we put our own insecurities on them and screw them up?

**I could not find an appropriate picture to attatch here.... ;)

Utah!

What has made an impact on you lately?...........
A few things have thrown me for a loop lately....but I would consider our move here to Utah to have made a big impact on me, and consequently, my family. If you had told me even 5 yrs. ago that we would be living here, I'd have said "not in a million years would that ever happen." Mostly because of how strongly Curtis was against it for our whole married life. I feel like I say this all the time, but all things happen for a reason. We don't need to know the reason, understand, or agree with it. All we need to know is that whatever happened, was suppose to happen. I actually find comfort in that......takes off a lot of pressure. So, what Im getting at is... I don't know why or how we ended up here, I just know that it has impacted me in more ways than one. Personally, career wise, opportunity, family, environment, perspective, culture....all of it.

This is what I love about this place.....The Mountains! Amazing!

Antelope Island

We wanted to get Tonje (Kristen's exchange student) to some last minute spots here in Utah before she leaves. The little boys and I tagged along for the drive today and it was a blast. Even the awkward stop at Smith's (some sketchy peeps in Syracuse) was fun. Except, I guess we fit in with Mark, his two wives, and 5 kids running around:) And, now I have a new fave coffee shop that I will have to make special trips just to go see the best Baristo and have a Bob Marley...extra coconut! Do you know how hard it is to find a cute, little, corner coffee shop around here? It rained the first part and we had a picnic in the car, but it brightened up for the drive home:) The boys loved watching out for Antelope and Bison.....other than that, not much on Antelope island! Oh! did you know that this island has some of the oldest rock in the world??? Bet not. Interesting..... :)

Inspiration!

What inspires you?.......................
I pull inspiration from everywhere, but mostly people inspire me. It can be from someone I know, have never met, my kids, or even my students. We can gain so much from each other if we open ourselves up to it. The people that inspire me the most....are the ones that exude happiness. It concurrently reveals passion, courage and self actualization....all great attributes.
Change also inspires me. If you aren't changing.....you're not growing.

What to do?

Day 16........What do you want to do before you die?
I really don't know the answer to this. I want to do a lot of things, but I can't think of something that stands out to where I would feel like....."check, now I can die"?!?:) I would love to go to Eager/Mesa (AZ), Homer (AK), and Laie (HI) to see all the places we lived. I guess our house in Eager was torn down and replaced with a grocery chain...so that's a downer! But still, I have so many memories from all those places. I wonder how I would perceive them as an adult compared to when I was a kid.

Waiamea Bay-We would go here almost every weekend. It actually is how I remember it. Aaron almost died here once...

I heard the spit has changed a bunch and the boardwalk is bigger

I swear we lived across the street from here....did we guys? Ami should know since I drug her across the road on the way back from the pool and almost got hit by a car...which happened to be our Dad. Guess who got a whoooop'in? ....Ami, haha it was Ami

It's Pretty Basic...

Day 15......Something you can't live without
This may sound odd, but I could live without my boys, family, friends..... I wouldn't prefer it and I am extremely grateful for life with them, however; I could because none of this would exist without Jesus. Im not a bible pusher, by any means. I just know I am not capable of anything without my relationship with him. It's basic, everything else can happen only because of Jesus. Nothing is certain and you can't rely on anyone or anything, other than faith in him, for your happiness. Sometimes it's hard for me to comprehend, but the more I get to know who he is, the easier it is for me to let go of the things I depend on.

Oh, the Times!

Day 14...someone you've been through the most with
Curtis has been with me through most of the major events in my life...babies, college, jobs, moves, homes, relationships, personal endeavors, faith, you name it! And starting off the way we did, outlook wasn't hopeful. We have changed and grown in different ways, all the while trying to have an "us." Sure, we both resent each other for reasons we can't even pinpoint and parts of us may have been sacrificed, but it's bound to happen when you share life's decisions. I used to say, "we just got lucky, situations such as ours usually don't turn out favorable." But now that I think about it, we both had to work really hard for it, and still do. It's not luck, it's (as Curt had put it) tenacity, patience, tolerance, partnership, and trust. Any one of those can be jeopardized at any given time. Funny thing about that is, I can never be trusted. Everytime I think, "wow, I really screwed up," Curt has believed in me and had the stay power to learn and do what it takes. And trust me, we do A LOT of learning. So, I guess you could say things happen just as they are supposed to...good and bad. I wouldn't regret a thing. Ive shared great space with Curt.
This about sums it up.....

Love it!

Day 13......something you love
I love MANY things. The color yellow (its warm,bright, happy, and a great song), coffee, my favorite blanket that Kristen made me, hats, bubble baths, candles, rain/thunderstorms, just to name a few. But, mostly coconut... everything coconut! The smell, taste, look, tropical feeling, all of it! I love to cook, but can't seem to be able to bake anything....except I can make these yummy coconut cupcakes from scratch. Sooo good!

Clutter!

Day 12......something you hate

"Clutter is a physical manifestation of fear that cripples our ability to grow." ~H.G. Chissell

Life is so much easier when you clean out the clutter. I love cleaning, organizing, and throwing stuff away. I don't care if it's hidden in a closet, basement or drawer....if I know it's there, and I don't need it, it has to go or it will drive me nuts! I also hate it when my mind is consumed with clutter-- unproductive thoughts, ideas, or convictions....it's a waste of time. Ridding yourself of all this clutter is another story. You have to train yourself to weed out what's not important and keep perspective on what you want. Sometimes I feel like that's all Im doing....trying to maintain balance! Someday I'll get it.

Treasures

Day 11...........your most treasured item
The thought of treasuring material things above the essential needs that the Lord provides, is disappointing.....JK, I totally treasure my phone. We all have those certain things we treasure. Some may be superficial, unecessary, distracting, or habitual....but, you can't get around it. I have a few "special things" but if I was being honest and had to choose one, it would be my phone. Its sad.

Memories

Day 10.....your favorite memory
Really? What did I say about having a "favorite?" Pretty much every cherished memory I have evokes the same feeling....adoration. What a great feeling. Like, the memory of my parents dancing or kissing. Both Kevin and Kristen coming home and taking me to get icecream or going for joy rides. My Dad taking me out on dates. Our family going on Sunday drives together. Or, watching from our apartments in Hawaii for my mom to walk home from school and we'd go running to meet her. We adored her and couldn't wait to hear about her day. Life started when Mom got home.

I Heart Tunes!

Day 9...................A picture of your favorite band or artist
There is no way I can choose a favorite.....anything! I can never make a decision about ONE thing over another, it gives me a panic attack. My answer would always be,"it depends..." So, I just checked out my music list on itunes and picked the two bands/artists that I had the most music from, at this time. Music does amazing things to me. I love all kinds of music, mostly Rock/Alternative and Singer/Songwriter. I dislike it when I find a great song and later hear it being overplayed on the radio....I feel betrayed cause I tend to think nobody appreciates it like me. I have my "special" playlists for different times. One that I listen to with Blake in the car, one while Im cleaning, sleeping, getting ready in the morning, on my drive to work, just chill'in, or when Im taking a bath, etc. It's all different and good!
Augustana

Nelly (what can I say, the dude knows people...)

It's Crazy...Right?

Day 8...........someone you do the craziest things with
That would be my BFF, Liz. The first day I met her she tackled me. She would hide in my shower and wait til we got home to scare us. We had a fort in her moms closet....UNDER THE GROUND! We would roll up next to men in BMW's downtown Seattle and ask for Grey Poupon. Hmmm, what else? We once wanted to go somewhere and her mom said, "not until you pick up the house," so we threw everything we could into the broken dishwasher. Skinny dipping, toilet papering, cheating in Science, rummaging through the school dumpster to get teacher edition textbooks, Night at the Roxbury bumping Grooms and their Dads (no matter how drunk or old they were), calling Ryan out of class and skipping school, so many crazy things....but all worth it. Not all of it was "fun" crazy... She was with me when I realized I was pregnant with Blake and when all my babies were born. She picked me up when I rolled my car. She has taken me/stayed with me at the ER when I had migranes (during the most awkward times/places). She made many trips with me to Utah (including taking me to see my mom when she was sick), and has been crazy in love with me and my family....so much that I feel confident she would help me move a dead body, no questions asked:) We truly have been through some crazy times together and I love her for every one of them.

Mom

Day 7.....Someone you're missing
I know Im not following the exact order of postings. I have a hard time with conformity and it's Mother's Day so this one fits. Mom's are incomparable people. I miss my Mom so much that it almost makes me feel hopeless because there is nobody who loves me like my mom does. Even with all my family, great friends, and own children, sometimes l feel so lonely without her. It breaks my heart even more knowing that my boys won't get to experience life with her. I guess they get a good piece of her through me because I find myself doing and saying things that she did. It's funny because now, as a mom, I can totally see what she meant, where she was coming from, and why she did the things she did. It's helpful because I know how it felt as a kid so now I know I can relate to my boys. You know how when you're little (and actually up until she died I felt the same way) you think their life revolves around you......your life is their life and there is no separation? Well, now I know....it's not true. It just goes to show that moms have a special way of making you feel that vital. Not saying that my life doesn't revolve heavily around the boys, but as parents we DO have our own life and they will someday be off becoming the people they need to be as well. Quite the conundrum..???
Speaking of their own life....I told the boys that the way you treat your Mom is a good indication on how you will treat your wife. So, if you want someone worth any salt (Cooper-"why salt?"), you better know how to work for it. Blake got up this morning and got me the new Starbucks coconut frappuccino and a redbox movie. The little boys helped Dad make an awesome dinner.....Steak, baked potato, fresh veggie salad, grilled shrimp and lobster tail. For dessert, peanut butter cream pie:) And, they all cleaned up! Only Curt can come out on Mother's Day smelling like roses...the boys were like, "Dad this is soooo good, you are the best!" I can't win...he's too good. Cooper made me the cutest picture and card. It said, "most of I love is your presheashin to me" He's right, I DO appreciate him! Im a lucky Mom, blessed with 3 spirited boys.

Gut Hurt....Laughing!

Day 6......Someone who can always make you laugh
My sister, Kristen, can make me laugh so hard I literally have to hold my crotch so I don't pee my pants. Or, I am on the floor rolling around. Sound awkward? Well, it is. Bailey cannot stand it when we get on one of our kicks. I don't know how, when, or why it happens, but we play off of each other and think it's funny. We must be on the same wave length...gots tuh be! It's always been like that and it's truly unique. Bailey has threatened us, mocked us, and even pretended she didn't know us. I think she'd choose to walk through a dark alley downtown Compton rather than be witness to us. Her words, "oh geez, here come the donkeys...Guuuyyys, stop it" C'mon Billy, lighten up:) haha

Yes, this is us laughing so hard on the four wheeler that we had to stop on account of not being able to see where we were going...impressive, I know.

Trading Places...

Day 5...a picture of someone you would like to trade places with
"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes."-Jack Handy.
I honestly don't have anyone I could say I hate...but, there are people whose behaviors annoy me and I may think less of them for one reason, or another. Having said that, I would change places with the people that I think I can't stand. I would definitely have a different perspective and you never know what one actually goes through on a daily basis to be the person they are. We are all on different paths and come from different schemas.

All in a Night...

Day 4...A picture of your night
My weeknights consist of getting home from work, preparing/cleaning up dinner (sometimes this doesn't happen til 8pm), taking kids to/from practice, going to baseball and basketball games, making sure kids have clean clothes/things for school, reading with boys, giving hugs and kisses (Cooper always yells, "MOM! Come give hug and kiss!!"). If Im lucky...I will take a bath with water that is so hot that I pass out. Not to mention the "special" nights where you can add class for me, church group, appointments, errands, and whatnot!! It's a wonderful life....only because I don't have two seconds to think otherwise.

BriLLiAnT!!!

Day 3....the cast of your favorite TV show
Modern Family, of course. And, that is a huge compliment considering there are many great ones that I have been dedicated to on Netflix. Each character on MF is absolutely fantastic. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside right now just thinking of getting to watch it. Im in love with Phil Dunphey....Yo!

Mi Papi

29....the person I have been closest to, the longest
My Dad is sharp-witted, wise, interesting, and REAL! Sometimes it's hard for me to fathom the unconditional love, acceptance, and joy he provides for me. Even when I know there were/are times where I tested his faith in me (not intentionally, it just happens:) Just thinking about all the moments and time that we have shared, makes me realize how much of him has influenced my life. Im such a lucky gal. I was starting to mention some of the "special" things I remember, but got an anxiety attack because I can't tell which ones are more important. Just know that everything that only a daddy can provide for his daughter, my Dad has done for me.

30 day picture challenge....

I need to print out my blog into a scrapbook SOON, so I need to try and sum it up the next 30 days. This Summer will be the start of a new "next three years," since thats about as much blogging I do to fill up an album:)
Day 1.....A picture of yourself and 10 things

-- Im impulsive and nothing is ever "for sure"
-- Everything that happens (good or bad) SHOULD have happened....because, IT DID! It's called reality.
-- Id rather go to a funeral rather than a wedding. (Im not happy someone died, just to clarify)
-- I have never broken a bone in my body. I really don't think it's because I sit idly by either.
-- If I had a dollar for every time I ironed a shirt.....I'd have $2
-- Its super cool having 3 boys. I secretly want to have a girl, just to meet her and see what she would be like....but that could be accomplished within the first 5 years of her life. What would I do with the rest?
-- In this lifetime, 2/3 of my boys will only know my Mom from stories and pictures.....and that makes me sad because they would love her, and she would get a kick out of them.
-- I love movies...and music....
-- People who make me laugh are so invaluable....especially the ones who get my funnyness.
-- Ive lived in 5 different states....ranging from cold (Alaska) to warm (Hawaii). I've Never been out of the country though.