...and Lord knows we are going through some changes around here. I've always been fond of change...Ive been accustomed to it since a young age. In a way, I have my parents to thank?:) From AZ to AK to HI to WA...from farms, to cabins, to cockroach/gecko/mice infested apartments...from below 0 to 80 degree /humid weather....from dad working two weeks on/two weeks off... siblings from 13 yrs older to 6 yrs. younger....I could go on about the many changes. We did it all! I am who I am today because of it. Who is that exactly? Well, someone who handles change, of course! I couldn't be more grateful. In the words of Bridesmaids....."If you're growing, then you're changing" Wise words I'd say.
I remember one of my first years of teaching Kindergarten, I had an autistic student. Every time I would change the theme or garnishings of the room (which was weekly!!) I would bring him in for a special tour so he could adapt to the change before all the "learning" began. I remember, one time his mom came in and told me she was painting his room lime green...and it was going to be a surprise! I said, "holy cow, is he going to freak out?" She replied, "Well, im planning on it!" She continued saying It's necessary for his growth and that she was prepared to help guide him through that feeling of discomfort. I thought about that a great deal and I have continued to think about that situation... many times.
In times like this, I hope I have painted my son's room lime green...enough. I hope I have guided him through those feelings of discomfort....enough. I hope I have modeled healthy habits of change.....enough! I hope I have welcomed life experiences as opportunities (not mask them) so he can manage change.....enough.
I can handle my personal change. It's only been 5 yrs. but I feel the need to embrace this opportunity for change with my job. I've been from Kindergarten to 6th grade and now....to teaching 2nd grade! Am I scared for new curriculum? As HELL! Am I scared for the quirks of a new age group? As HELL! Am I scared to work in a new building, with a new team/staff? As HELL! Am I excited? Very.
The change I'm having a little more difficult time with, is our family dynamic. Ive dealt with bits of this dynamic change throughout the years. We've added to our brood and, at one point, thinking we would be graduating one out of the house, while welcoming another. That time has passed. But, 18 yrs worth of this guy from embryo to adult....simply mind blowing. I am crying at a drop of a hat these days. I am overwhelmed with happiness, anxiety, uncertainty, doubt, gratitude, you name it. I have the upmost confidence in Blake. He is the most amazing person I know. I have learned so much from this boy. With decisions and opportunities near and far....the main feeling I'm getting is, I am going to MISS him terribly! I've felt emptiness from time to time, missing my mom. But, Blake is still here and I miss him on my way to work. It's going to be a tough one and if I continue to think about it too long, I go into sleep mode. Ive been going to bed at 7:30 and sleeping just fine through the night. My brain can't take it!
My point being...embrace change...it makes life much more bearable. And, to be honest, it makes us more bearable to the people around us!
