IM BORED!

If I hear that one more time I will rip my nails off with pliers!! We are always so busy running around from practices, to games, to cousins, to friends, to store, to work, to school.....AHHHH! So, when we have 2 seconds to "rest" the boys (only Chase and Coop cuz Blake sleeps) feel like they should always be doing something. Don't get me wrong, I am super grateful I have healthy, active, boys. However, I can't seem to rewind my brain 22 years to help them decide what they should do. My answer is, "watch an old movie, listen/find music, clean/organize your closet, take a bath, go for a walk, sit on the porch and watch sunset with a diet coke, look up a cool recipe and make it, do yard work....you know that kind of "fun" stuff. I finally said, "Cooper, sit down and make a list of ALL the things you can and want to do this Summer. Then, next time you want an idea, go look at your list." He replies, "what if you don't take me to do anything? Then I can't check it off my list." I NEVER win this game.

Here's his list....it's a work in progress:)

Translation---
Stuff that I want to do
play with Stone
play baseball with friends
make a bracelet
go to Mr. Poppers Penguins on Friday
go swimming
go to Trafalga
smores (we drive into the canyon about 10 min. and cook smores, the boys love it)
go to 7 peaks
Xbox
**it appears he should be practicing handwriting. He said "one finger space" MY how education has changed:)

MASTER MIND!

Cooper and I love to play Master Mind together. I don't know why I thought of this while playing a stupid game, but I had to do a response for one of my classes on a chapter about problem solving...in life, classroom/teaching, in general, and it made me think about it. The thing is, Im not master of my mind. I let other people's problems/issues control me instead of weighing MY options and what I want. I weigh theirs and end up making a decision based on what they want or need. I often find myself saying "how are they able to do that...and get away with it?" I guess Im jealous. Because in my head, I think that's just who they are and they are just doing what they need to do. It's my problem how I respond to it. Deep down I may think less of them or resent them for it, and that's not fair of me. I must be an enabler. Im afraid (I know) I won't get the same consideration when I do what I want. I don't trust that anyone would be able to do the same for me. It's a pretty interesting concept now that I think about it. It runs my life.

Bear Lake:)

Just the boys and I (plus Jordan) took off to Bear Lake right after I got out of school Wednesday....and it was the best! Even though it rained and was colder than butt, it was fun to get away and have some down time together. Seemed like forever to get there, we stopped in Layton to eat and went to the Cheese Factory in Logan. A little sports trivia in the car made the last leg go a little faster. Q: Steve Nash is to basketball as _____________is to baseball?. A: Pedroia (sais Blake). Sound a bit subjective? Blake and Jordan managed to get in some golf, we checked out the boardwalk/park, got some shakes, made good food, went swimming, played games, and even made bracelets with our fave team colors. The boys were so impressed with themselves. Cooper said, "Mom, thanks for doing that with us. Im so glad we came here because Dad would have made us clean and he couldn't teach us how to make bracelets." We got the NBA finals' game in and still have to listen to Blake, "why should I care? I want it more for Lebron than he does for himself!" Minnetonka Cave didn't work out like we wanted.... wadda ya do with Utah weather? You can't control it.

Soooo, this is what boys do when they get cooped up too long indoors


Since we couldn't go to the outdoors...the outdoors came to us! Still made S'mores

We made pizza and Cooper seems to think it tastes better when he makes it...."Im the best cooker Mom!" But really, the best one was the buffalo chicken with celery/onion/blue cheese/ relish on top...that I made! YUM

Good times with my boys!


We both were thinking the same thing as we passed.....

Life's a Fragile Thing Harry....

This is weird because one of the last "30 day challenge" topics was something you were afraid of. I started to do it and copped out because I felt like it was a jinx. Hence, the end of my journaling with that. Anyway, I was right! Yesterday a lady ran into me at a stop light......this is what Im afraid of.....accidents! Im paranoid about them and they freak me out. Granite, this was not a full on accident, a mere fender bender, but it put me into a panic and Ive been crying ever since........for no reason other than all the context around it.
I was already emotional because I just had an experience, in itself, with my boys. The situation--Coop and I took off to Salt Lake for his baseball game. I get a phone call from an anxious Chase saying his baseball bag was in my car. Blake was taking him to his game at about the same time, somewhere else. The calm, cool, collected mom I am (NOT) chewed Chase out over the phone for not being responsible enough to get his stuff ready. Not giving him a chance to speak, I spout that Im on my way and have Blake meet me at the exit. I had to leave Cooper there alone (with his team, but still, he's my baby!). I meet them, Chase gets out and, half in tears because he knows I was upset, sais, "Mom, I thought you were taking me to Uncle Aaron's so I put my bag in your car. I didn't know Blake was taking me." I suddently realized that this was true....I did not tell him the change of plans. I got out, gave him a hug and said I was sorry for freaking out on him...blah blah blah. Pissed at myself I began to think, what if something happened to me on the way there? That would have been something Chase (already the sensitive, pleasing type) would deal with the rest of his life. They take on so many things that we don't even realize. See! PARANOID. Regardless, I started to feel overwhelmed and may have got choked up a bit. I do it in class too....always quick to make conclusions about something when, in reality, something else was going on with that kiddo. Lesson learned, or learning.
Well, on my way back to Cooper, this lady ran into me while I was stopped at the light. I didn't even see her coming and it pushed me all the way to the middle of the intersection. Long story inbetween here. Let's just say I was crying, trying to get a hold of Curt and figure what I should do. The rest of the day I just cried at random and slept. It's kinda a blur because I didn't know what to think about it all. Kristen and Bailey did their best to make sure I was "normal." Which, she said, was hard to tell because Im a nutjob anyway:) That's fair, I guess:)
In conclusion....I don't wanna have the responsibility of having kids anymore. Too many opportunities to screw them up and I can't keep up sometimes. I guess I could think that, but that doesn't do me any good because they are still here! So, how about pulling from this the importance of "this moment." I can get caught up in so many things at once that I don't pay attention to the important things NOW!

I have to be done...

Summertime....
Im so close to being done with this 30 day thing.....but it's too much thinking. It's actually been kinda interesting. I've thought about stuff I normally wouldn't and Im not one for being SURE about anything!
My boys are done with school and Cooper already is saying, "Mom, Im bored..." I guess it's time for me to call in that favor from all my circus friends;) Ha! I am so excited for this Summer break. Even though I have classes that I already can't keep up with, I am ready to hang with my boys by the pool and spend time together. We have our weekly plans already in place....dollar movies, Seven Peaks, Owls baseball games, Trafalga. YES! The Pass of All Passes may be the best thing ever! They are excited to go to Washington as well and visit all Y'all!

It's pretty important...

Something that is important to you......
These guys! They crack me up.....And, I truly think that it's of great importance in our family to wrestle and fight. I know, it's weird. One time, we were on the way home from somewhere and the boys were cooped up for awhile. Half asleep, Chase goes, "Mom, can me and Coop wrestle when we get home?" It was like 10:00 at night. They must have gone too long without. Curtis wasn't much of an "infant" kinda Dad...he couldn't wait til they were old enough for him to rough house with. I can remember him with baby boy on the ground and he just growling in their face, rolling them back and forth. Just because Im Mom, doesn't mean Im safe either, you'd think so. I don't LOVE it when Blake grabs my feet and pulls me off the couch. Or, when he puts me in a headlock and tries to swipe my feet....not okay! There usually is crying (from the boys too:) and repercussions, but it's how we bond. It's pretty important in our house:)

The boys laugh whenever they hear the snake whip on the skin....Nice

Love you Forever...

Your Favorite Book.....
I love children's picture books. Probably because they fit my attention span. Also, they are brilliant. I seem to get choked up when I read this book to my boys. Like, everytime. I remember Coop wouldn't fall asleep unless I rocked him....cherished every minute of it and I honestly think it makes my milk come in when I think about it. :) JK... I know, gross.

I can do better!

Day 22 ~Something you wish you were better at.......
Hmmm, let me get my list out. It's a funny question because you have to be able to actually do something before you can be better at it....right? First thing that comes to mind.....I wish I could sing. People remind me all the time that I don't know how! Kristen and I sing "real nice" when Ami is around. We seem to have this harmony that just works;) Ha! Ami can sing, play the piano, compose/read music...blah blah blah, and she hates it when we sing.
Second, I wish I were better at being patient. How can I learn the art of patience quickly? Im way more patient when it comes to certain things. For example, I can be super patient when it comes to my kids and them growing up. But, waiting on someone else to do something, like go through a checkout line with their coupon BINDER.......not so much. Or, trying to get through the grocery store isle with a lady and her 4 kids, each with their own cart because she's attempting to give her kids "choices" and take ownership in their families decisions...Lame! Serious, this conversation happened....Mom sais, "Can we get these crackers?" Kids simultaneously respond in whiney voices, "No, I want cookies!" "Why can't we get cheetos?" "I want this one!" Mom trying to gain approval, "Please, sweatie? Mommy wants you guys to have this kind, is that ok?" WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE? Can you tell my annoyance is still fresh:) Meanwhile this is my conversation with Cooper... "Coop, do you want Wheat Thins or Trisciuts?" (still choices btw) Coop, "I want pringles." Me, "OK, neither then"... as I put both back and tell him that his cheese/crackers snack for the ball games just became a cheese snack. He keeps walking and mumbles, "dang it."

Forget About It!

Something you wish you could forget........
Is there really anything that we should forget? When you think about it, I mean, REALLY think about it....we need all that's in our cache. Otherwise, we wouldn't learn to overcome life's barriers. Shit's gonna happen, if you don't know how to accept those thoughts, even welcome them, you won't survive pleasantly. Im thinking of my worst thought/memory and I hope I never forget how that feels so I can do the things necessary to win next time........I like winning. Lingering, however, will slow the game down. So, there's a difference:)

I lie......this is something I'd actually like to forget! It's just wrong, everything about it.

Greece

Where do you want to travel?.............
Greece is such a beautiful place with unique characteristics and interesting history. I love everything about it and would love to go there some day.

Insecure...much?

19......What is your biggest insecurity?
I wouldn't consider myself to be insecure about much. Whenever we play the "most embarrassing moment" game, I never win because, to my recollection, most things that involve me are awkward or embarrassing........generally speaking. So, it's hard to pick one that stands out:) I guess I DO get insecure about being so uninhibited. I never trust that the receiver can handle or comprehend me right off the bat. I end up having to backtrack, explain, or justify myself until they can come to terms with how it is (or how I am). It's kind of ironic because if I wasn't so uninhibited, I would probably be insecure about many things. I prefer to just lay it all out there, it is what it is, take it or leave it....I can't control or be bothered by how others will react. I will admit, sometimes I am truly bothered....working on it. I think that's why I love kids so much. They are so uninhibited and don't make excuses for it. Why do we put our own insecurities on them and screw them up?

**I could not find an appropriate picture to attatch here.... ;)

Utah!

What has made an impact on you lately?...........
A few things have thrown me for a loop lately....but I would consider our move here to Utah to have made a big impact on me, and consequently, my family. If you had told me even 5 yrs. ago that we would be living here, I'd have said "not in a million years would that ever happen." Mostly because of how strongly Curtis was against it for our whole married life. I feel like I say this all the time, but all things happen for a reason. We don't need to know the reason, understand, or agree with it. All we need to know is that whatever happened, was suppose to happen. I actually find comfort in that......takes off a lot of pressure. So, what Im getting at is... I don't know why or how we ended up here, I just know that it has impacted me in more ways than one. Personally, career wise, opportunity, family, environment, perspective, culture....all of it.

This is what I love about this place.....The Mountains! Amazing!

Antelope Island

We wanted to get Tonje (Kristen's exchange student) to some last minute spots here in Utah before she leaves. The little boys and I tagged along for the drive today and it was a blast. Even the awkward stop at Smith's (some sketchy peeps in Syracuse) was fun. Except, I guess we fit in with Mark, his two wives, and 5 kids running around:) And, now I have a new fave coffee shop that I will have to make special trips just to go see the best Baristo and have a Bob Marley...extra coconut! Do you know how hard it is to find a cute, little, corner coffee shop around here? It rained the first part and we had a picnic in the car, but it brightened up for the drive home:) The boys loved watching out for Antelope and Bison.....other than that, not much on Antelope island! Oh! did you know that this island has some of the oldest rock in the world??? Bet not. Interesting..... :)

Inspiration!

What inspires you?.......................
I pull inspiration from everywhere, but mostly people inspire me. It can be from someone I know, have never met, my kids, or even my students. We can gain so much from each other if we open ourselves up to it. The people that inspire me the most....are the ones that exude happiness. It concurrently reveals passion, courage and self actualization....all great attributes.
Change also inspires me. If you aren't changing.....you're not growing.

What to do?

Day 16........What do you want to do before you die?
I really don't know the answer to this. I want to do a lot of things, but I can't think of something that stands out to where I would feel like....."check, now I can die"?!?:) I would love to go to Eager/Mesa (AZ), Homer (AK), and Laie (HI) to see all the places we lived. I guess our house in Eager was torn down and replaced with a grocery chain...so that's a downer! But still, I have so many memories from all those places. I wonder how I would perceive them as an adult compared to when I was a kid.

Waiamea Bay-We would go here almost every weekend. It actually is how I remember it. Aaron almost died here once...

I heard the spit has changed a bunch and the boardwalk is bigger

I swear we lived across the street from here....did we guys? Ami should know since I drug her across the road on the way back from the pool and almost got hit by a car...which happened to be our Dad. Guess who got a whoooop'in? ....Ami, haha it was Ami